If I were a state fair judge offering blue ribbons after thoroughly scrutinizing the stories that have been read to you to-date, tonight's would be a heavy competitor for Most Gut-Bursting Opener in American Short Fiction, specifics of which, there's nobody can offer sympathy like me. And I'm pitting this as the prizewinning hen against the Great Openers, which you can see for yourself if you look at the archives.
And since I've received permission to read this to you (for sometimes, it just doesn't hurt to ask), it's time to summon the unprecedented, and strongly recommend your immediate purchase and ardent reading of the collection in which today's story is found.